India. Yes, India. It's been on my brain for the past week and I can't seem to get it out. I was googling the other week looking up summer programs for next year as well as prospective ticket prices for my good friend's wedding in Manchester. Yes, Manchester. As in the UK. Like I said, so much going on. I feel like my life has just expanded and blew up all over the globe this year. It's really something I still haven't been able to grasp. I'm not in a little box of "ignorance is bliss" like when I was 10 and swimming in a plastic kiddy pool my parents set up in our driveway on hot summer days.
No, there's other countries out there. There's millions upon millions of lives. There's an individual struggling to walk through a desert somewhere in the Middle East. Who knows why they're there. There's a child without parents in a Russian orphanage. What's their life story? There's government officials demanding Chinese families sign over their lives in order to say the Lord's name. And I am here. Sitting in a well furnished house that almost looks like a summer cabin. I live here for free. Meals appear every so often on the stove when I come home from work, from studying at the local coffee shop, or from talking with friends about the Bible verses we cherish and are so lucky to read freely. I'm blessed. I'm getting an education. Blessed. My parents support me in everything I do. Blessed. As my spring trip to Managua, Nicaragua taught me, my list could go on...
As I was googling I came upon an organization that offers several programs to volunteer or even intern in countries world wide. Dharamsala, India is the one I can't keep off my mind. At first I was beyond excited. Within 24 hours I knew I wanted to go there for 6 weeks and help teach children. I wanted to enroll right then and there. So much so that when my dad advised me to stop and take a breather, I almost cried. I was a little caught up in the moment. The next few days I kept it in mind and asked the Lord to let me know if it wasn't in his plans. This was super hard to do. But I'm trying to keep an open mind because I know that is extremely important, especially with something as huge as going to India on my own for a few weeks.
After letting it alone for a while (as in a day-ish) I kept catching myself looking up photos and talking to a Program Enrollment Manager about the trips. Earlier today I found myself reading a blog by a volunteer who had done the Dharamsala, India trip in 2008(?). Initially this filled me with a little bit of a scare. Okay, a lot. I forgot how crazy of a culture shock it was flying into Nicaragua only because I had flown with 8 other girls that I already knew from school as well as two faculty members. I hadn't thought about the fact that if I were to go on this trip, I would be flying alone. A woman. Into a culture where an American woman in American clothing would attract many stares on her first step off the plane and onto unknown territory. This volunteer also went into describing other uncomfortable culture differences such as an absolute lack of privacy, lack of AC, and lack of purified water two steps in any direction. While I did experience some discomfort like this in Nicaragua, it definitely was not to the extreme I found in this volunteer's writing. Suddenly I didn't feel so sure of myself. Being so blessed and perhaps even spoiled with such commodities began to overshadow the smiles I could help bring to the people of Dharamsala, as well as the beauty and experience of a place so different from the suburbs of Cincinnati and the college life of Mobile. The strength of difference scared me.
Now, I look at volunteers' photos from previous trips to this small city in the Himalayas and I look again at the emotions and reality that this one volunteer tried to put into words. It would be different. And it would be scary. But it would totally be worth it.
I'm not enrolled yet, but if I do, you'll be sure to hear about it. And if not, then I know another opportunity will show. I can't go on living my life of freedom to do whatever I choose and pursue whatever I want without choosing to pursue a better life for those who can't.
